On to Santa Fe

Now starting at 3:00 A.M. I know what many of you are thinking, that drive should be smooth sailing, but it wasn’t. Around 4:30 on a flat road in the middle of Texas Brownbear sees flashing lights on the left side of the road…Not sure what it is he checks his Ohio DMV manual and decides to slow down. As we approach he notices it is a few police cars. Looking for a wreck he moves to the right of the road to give the police a little space. Patting himself on the pack for his safe and intuitive driving he glances at the road in front of him…..

(Big Cats POV) I was enjoying a nice dream of zebra and antelope when I was gently awoken. What woke me was the force of slamming my head into the unforgiving passenger side window as Brownbear jerked the wheel barely missing a giant dead cow on the right side of the road.

Apparently someone had hit the huge steer and while the cops were taking care of the wreckage they forgot to mark off the spot where the recently deceased cow lay, and in Brownbear’s pursuit of safety he almost ran straight in to it. After this frightening event not much else was seen until a small town in the heart of the emptiness that is west Texas.

The rural landscape had been scattered with towns we thought only existed in movies. We drove through one such town until we saw a small building named The Tin Barn, which claimed to have some of the best smoked Barb B Que in the state. Obviously, we pulled a quick U Turn and headed towards the shack on the side of the road. I quickly hopped out of the car and ran to see if it was open, while it was lunchtime where we came from it was still 10 A.M. in west Texas. Despite being closed until eleven I could smell the smokers working on our soon to be lunch. With an hour to burn we visited numerous stores throughout the town. One stop had oddities from all over the state and a kind old man who let us root through his garage like an episode of American Pickers. Next, we prepared for our meal by purchasing freshly made raspberry and cherry cider from New Mexico and some beef jerky. We knew it had to be great because the women who sold it to us said she loved the stuff but could not eat it anymore after she lost most of her teeth… We were truly in the heart of rural Texas. As the clock struck 11 we walked in to the small Tin Barn and ordered ribs, pulled pork, and brisket with plenty of sides. The food was just as good as we imagined, maybe some of the best pulled pork I have ever had. We made quick work of the meal and decided to keep moving to the city of Santa Fe.

Santa Fe was unlike any city we had ever been too, and our hotel was just as unique... The city had been created by stacking little pueblo like buildings all over the place giving it a small but authentic feel. My excitement for being in such an interesting city was quickly destroyed as we arrived at our hotel, The Luxx. We parked our car and approached the back entrance, this was when I felt my first wave of unease. The hot tub had been lined in zebra and leopard print design and looked small enough to fit two people sharing one lap. For a perfect image of this hot tub watch Will Ferrell’s SNL skit “Lovers” (Youtube SNL Skit Lovers) involving Will Ferrell as he describe erotic adventures between him and his “Luver..”, sometimes involving “wild eagle spirits and truckers named Tom” (http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/lovers-hot-tub-with-drew-barrymore/236046/) . Shaking this off we moved to check in to our room and I was struck one again by unease by what we found next. The front desk was in the middle of the hotel, a silver sequined drum set sat in the middle of the room. I passed the bedazzled bass drum and walked to a man sporting a burly beard with very skinny jeans. Deep drones of Native American chants and drums could be heard from the sound system as he quickly checked us into our room. The whole hotel was going with the bedazzled animal skin theme and we both knew something was off. We were shown our room that sported a leopard print bed spread and sparkling pillows. Over looking the single bed was a painting of an all blue man who lacked any amount of decency or clothes…. Now I am comfortable with my sexuality or anyone else’s preference but this room made me decidedly uncomfortable. I quickly turned the painting around and set up my bed on the floor, very far from where the Big Cat would sleep. Normally living amongst animal hides would make him feel right at home but the plush pillows, made for a little girl during her stay at themarshmallow castle, threw him for a loop.

We quickly put our things into the room and talked about football, women, riverboat gambling trips, and making our own beef jerky, because that’s what Men DO!! After reasserting our manliness we stalked the streets looking for some authentic Mexican food. We found a little restaurant that served great food at an unreasonable price, but the micro brew made up for it. Once our stomachs were full we found a few bars and even less people. The whole town was a little disappointing. The small town atmosphere or the high altitude seemed to affect the local’s attitude towards “outsiders”. As we approached the local bar we greeted the few people standing outside with a “Hey Ya’ll” how is it going?” (We had just been in Austin). We were greeted with silence and then a simple “hey……” followed by laughter. These hipsters clearly did not like any one that was not a supporter of a lack of huge mustaches or recycled shirts. We shook off their cold greeting and headed in for a few beers. Four drinks and not one friendly comment later we decided to call it a night. Driving 13 hours since 3:00 A.M. had left us exhausted and we knew we needed sleep for one of the most intense parts of our trip. Vegas Baby…..